Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Needing Couple Time

Jim and I have been dreaming of taking a mini-vacation sans kids for quite awhile now... Swissmiss posted this the other day and now we are really wanting a vacation. We would be happy to go to the hotel down the street, just to get away... I sometimes feel bad about wanting alone time with Jim and not wanting the kids around, but it seems so healthy. There are many books out there that promote getting away just the two of you, and then the kids get time alone with Oma (she'd probably be the one to watch them). Sometimes it is hard to justify spending the money when we don't have any, but one of the books I just read puts it bluntly that it is better/cheaper to get the time together now and have a little debt than to get a divorce later. We aren't close to the divorce thing, but it helps to think of it that way. Our relationship is important. And, ultimately when we are happy together then the kids are happy. The only thing holding us back at this time is the fact that Carsten is still nursing...

When Carsten is done...

5 comments:

the mama said...

wean that baby and then leave your kids with us. we'll watch them while the two of you have a night on the town in the big city or a romantic night at home, sans boys. or... we could houseswap. you guys stay here and we'll crash at your pad with your hooligans. just say the word.

dates are more than necessary. our marriages have to come first. this alone will create secure, happy children. and even happier when their parents are still married when they're in their 20's.

Growininwillows said...

I hear ya. We all should make time for our spouses. We too have the nursing issue. My MIL has offered numerous times to take Justin, but he can only go about 3 hours without nursing...and after 3 hours, we really do miss him...like Dana, maybe in a few months.

Dana - Maybe when Oma visits, you two could steal a night away on the town. . . I know it isn't the same, but it will get you to when Carsten is done nursing.

the wallys said...

Yes, a date night or weekend is needed! Even though you have kids, that should never be put on the back burner. Like you said, it creates a happy family and your children will know that their parents have a good marriage. Erik and I try, and I stress try, to have a date night at least once a month for dinner for a couple hours......at least once a year we have gone away on an overnight and that was wonderful when our parents were in town. It was so needed and it is amazing the things you talk about when you don't have kids asking to help them brush their teeth, need their milk, etc. As for the nursing thing, like it was said, you could take a few hours off and just be a couple. Get dressed up, go somewhere nice. Then when he is weaned, take a night out somewhere and then maybe when you get more comfortable leaving the kids, go away for a weekend. That would be so good for you guys. I wish that we did it more often but as you know, that is not always possible. Just try....or maybe even have a candlelight dinner set up for Jim when he gets home some night when the kids are asleep. Little things matter in a marriage.....good luck!

swissmiss said...

ahhh...so you DO read my blog! I agree with the mama..or you could substitute formula (it's not a bad word) for your weekend away and bring along a pump to ease your pressure. Your boy will not suffer from a weekend of formula! If he doesn't drink it, he would probably just drink water. I think when he does not smell you near, he will know that he can't get any mom's milk from whoever is watching him. It is a VERY good thing to get away and have some time. I remember a couple in Chico F&S who had a Thursday night date nearly every week. I wish we could achieve this but it is impossible for the moment. BTW our weekend was wonderful and we were only away for one night. It felt like a week! Go ahead and let Oma spoil the kids and run away for a romantic weekend!

Boone, Gina and Abigail said...

Dates??? What are those?? Fruit? I hate the fruit but an actual date with my husband would be so nice, strange but nice!