Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Bad Mommy Badge

Okay, I have to admit I think I deserve a bad mommy badge for the day. I am about at my wits end with Justin at night. He goes for spurts of sleeping through the night and then spurts of not. Right now we are NOT. 2 nights ago I gave in and slept on the floor in his room....not sure if this was the best idea, but it was 12:30 and 45 minutes of crying and I was too tired, so I just did. I used to let him come to bed with me after Todd is awake around 4am...that was fine, but not at 12:30.

So, he first screamed for 45 minutes before he fell asleep at all, then he was up again at 12:30 scraming....I refused to sleep on the floor and refused to let him kick Todd out of bed (another thing we have done in the past 2 weeks). So, I lay in bed and get upset because he won't stop crying. I go in his room, didn't pick him up and told him to lay down. He did....stood at the doorway for a few minutes and left, he screams and bangs and rattles his crib...I go to bed....I get up again and go in 15 minutes later...same thing....same, I told Todd I couldn't do it....and I was at my WITS with him....I might end up spanking him if I have to go in again. I wanted to sleep in my OWN bed.

Todd goes to his room and sleeps on the floor. So, now I feel like:

1. Bad mommy for not comforting him and sleeping in his room
2. Bad wife for hubby having to do this and then go to work in the morning

It is really frustrating because he can't tell us what is wrong? Is he teething? Is he scared? He doesn't say but about 15 words (sorta) how do we know?

He is almost 2 years old...he should be sleeping through the night...not screaming all hours of the night..right?


Brandy said...

You are not a bad mommy! Yes, he probably should be able to sleep through the night at age 2, but he would rather sleep with you of course! I don't feel like I have the right to say anything, because Alexa still gets up sometimes and comes to get into bed with us. I know I should take her right back to bed, but I am so tired I often leave her in bed with us, and then we don't sleep well or at all for the rest of the night. The best I can suggest is that you and your husband decide on a plan, and maybe you take one night and he takes one night so the other one can get sleep. Above all, I think you should try not to give in, even out of exhaustion. If screaming for long periods of time is getting him what he wants, he will continue it. Have you tried the sleep training thing? I think it is called Ferberizing or something like that.
Does he know how to say ouch, or tell you if something hurts? Alexa only has some sign language, so we play the guessing game a lot, but if he knows how to point to body parts and how to say or sign ouchy, then he might be able to tell you if that is the problem.
Good luck, hang in there!

Darla said...

Wow! Ugh! I am sorry you are having such trouble. The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems is a good resource. Or go online to
and check on their message boards. We have some trouble with our 2 year old, but she has been in a bed since she was about 20 months old. She was crawling out of her crib and our nearly 4 year old was asking for a bigger bed, so we transitioned both of them up. Anyways, now she crawls out of her bed nearly every night and comes to ours. Sometimes she's not a problem there as we have a king size bed, but usually she drives me nuts because she's a pincher...lightly pinching my neck or rubbing my ear lobe, which, of course, wakes me up and keeps me awake. But she's doing it while she sleeps! So, off back to her bed she is carried! Our four year old comes to our bed nearly every night and asks one of us to come back to his and sleep with him. This is almost more annoying, especially for my hubby. But his bed is also a guest bed and, thus, a queen, so there is plenty of room for an adult to join him. Not sure if I am much help, but they actually learn quite quickly. If you can choose something and try it for a week, they will usually get it. If you have someone who can help during the day for a week, like watch the kiddo(s) for an hour or two while you nap, that would be greatly helpful.

Some suggestions:
1) sitting on a chair right by his crib one night, and moving the chair a little farther away each subsequent night until you are out of the room or
2) telling him you will sit with him 2 minutes then leave the room and he must stay in his crib and go to sleep, then do it and if he cries, let him cry for 10 minutes, then check on him and do it again.
3) The Baby Whisperer has a deal called the pick up/put down which works best for babies. But she has a version of it for toddlers if I remember correctly.
4) Have you tried white noise? or does he have a sippy cup of water where he knows where it is?

Hope you can find some help. There's nothing worse for me than a horrible night's sleep. I am snappy and short and grouchy and then everyone gets that way. UGH! My thoughts go your way...